gender disorder???

haha.........it was claim by en wan that i have gender disorder....mb some of action tat i done make ppl feel i was L.....actually it juz way i show closeness n friendliness wit my frens..........deep in me i noe i m normal........sure....even though i keep say how beauty a gal was n keep talk abt her......undenied .......i more close to gals than guy .....mb my childhood i spend most of time wit gal...plus... i more trust gal than guy.........n they was some gal that i admire them..........i admire of for who are they ....n also they good n bad....i always have a strange instinct or feeling of like a gal i meet.......nt tat kind of love......i was like a strong attractiveness.....mb she has a very special things wit her...tat make me like n attract by her.....i did ask why i like a person n admire them....mb deep in me....i search the image i want to fit in.....tat person make me feel i wan to be like her...........mb i still not sure who is me.....i still blur on my own identity n search for suitable image i wan wear..............i know i had serious problem nt really noe who am i? i keep search my real self.............n wat the purpose i stay alive.......who i wan to be.........wat i wan to do?????by the way ...i think i m normal in term of gender..........