workaholic

today was my freedom day....free from the exam ...and i suppose to be free ...but i find out i cant stop and relax......i found out i feel restless and .....i might have free anxiety....which fear free from doing nothing......and keep finding things to do...........i cant stop myself a moment for rest ....a good nap.....give myself a relax moment......since last moment of exam until now....i keep making myself busy....i think i m too workaholic............i tidy and pack room for whole day.....until late at night...........then i lay tired.....and feel half dead.....what wrong with me???

复杂的心情

又是到收拾房间的时候。。。刚刚看到一家人一起收拾。。。整理房间。。。。在旁看的我。。。感到他们好幸福哦。。。其实。。。这感受依然都在我心中。。。当我一个人疲倦的把一盒又一包的东西。。。。从西搬到东。。。一趟又一趟。。。。汗水如在冲凉的在流。。。。心中难免会感到苦。。。但我知道。。。要是我父母能够。。。来帮我。。。我相信他们也会。。。虽然我会希望有家人的陪伴。。。。但那不是我想要。。因为我想独立。。。。因为我不想。。。麻烦他们。。。不想辛苦他们。。。我宁愿一个人承担。。。不是我长大了。。。就不需要爸妈了。。。。而是我长大就该独立了。。。我不想总是成为家的负担。。。不想让爸妈担心。。。也可能我真的长大成熟了吧。。。也许。。。。。

我好爱你 - 咖啡

最近。。。真的越来越爱咖啡了。。。。它好像是我的生命的一部份。。。一天没有它就好像白活一样。。。可能是遗传吧。。。我全家。。。我的婆婆都是爱喝咖啡的。。。我就在。。。咖啡香味中长大的。。。好像太夸张了吧。。。哈哈。。。可惜。。。我还没学会泡一杯香味。。。好喝的咖啡。。。也不会真真品尝一杯好咖啡。。。。但我会学。。。一却有关它的知识。。。因为我爱它。。。犹如。。。生活中的乐趣。。。没有咖啡就好像没有人生一样。。。我总爱说：no coffee no life.....。。因为咖啡给我的一种感觉。。。。苦中带甜的那种感觉。。。就好像人生一样。。。。再苦的人生都可以感觉到甜的滋味。。。。懂得咖啡的人。。。会知道咖啡的哲学。。。从咖啡中体会人生。。。。虽然我只是一个爱喝咖啡的人。。。。我会慢慢向它学习。。。。虽然我知道咖啡会对我健康影响。。。会有某某副作用。。。但我还是。。。。爱喝它。。。。。因为已对它上瘾了。。。我就是那么的爱它。。。爱一样东西。。。就会爱上它全部。。。不轮是好是坏。。。就是爱。。。这是爱吧。。。

past = memory , future = ?

time flied.......it has been many years......this few day.......my mind keep reflect all memories......many things have happened.....many things have passed........suddenly...... i feel i getting old...........all the past.....i have keep it as memories.......when i think back the old time..........i fell i had change a lot.....not only me........but my surrounding ......my friends........the people beside me.......all have change............my hometown had develop into city this few year with more building and concrete wall....less green area.........my friends.......from many..... many farewell.....i had this pass few year.....all have walked the path .....and without hear o see for long time..............people besides me .....growth mature and old...........everything have change by time............what my future will be? ........i wonder??? ...........in 5 year........who am i??????............in 10 year.........where am i?............maybe i will like today.....look back and play back the film the old time..........and start miss this moment........ya....we never know tomorrow.......we cannot go back past.............only things i can do.........is enjoy every moment i have........appreciate everyone besides me...........gratitude for what i got..............

nostalgia

it has pass 2 year, but i still miss my f6 time.........i always flash back and play back the old time.....maybe i getting old.......for me ...f6 life is fun, memorable........it always make me nostalgia the old time........when a gang of us....play and study together........what make me miss a lot is the laugh and fun moment........today....me and chin fang chat at library......in the chatting..........my f6 memory play like film.........it was strange........when i been ask why i like f6 life so much.......mb is because........i dint think that much, i din have to worry many things....i dun nid to settle things alone.............in short....i still in comfort zone........ignorance state.......when flash back...........i miss the most is the people.........my gang......my teachers......and my school......and my library at last.............i miss them a lot.............my gang...we always laugh,play and study together......been with them like been in heaven.....everyday was fun........except i have to wake up early to go school....tat i hate the most............i miss my teachers....they are great teacher i ever have ....they can be friend with us and without giving us any stress............i miss my school.....it leave a lt memories in it........i miss the library......coz i never miss a day without go it for 7 years.....no kidding....library are always my favourite place to hang out.......every recess time............i like went library with my frens....in f6 what make me miss library is ....the time when we stay back after class....went have lunch together....chatting n gossiping together............at last duty at library........actually we dint really duty....juz only wrap some book and do some registration process.....while most of the time.....we do our headache homework.....mostly is math...........but i never worry....coz i always have some genius friends........ figure out the way of solve it....n i will copy from them......and understand it...........that is what i done for f6......learn frm copying........hahahah.............besides.....during recess time........the whole bunch of us........will rush like crazy bees......just to avoid too many crowd ......we will buy a lot foods....then back classroom.....eat until recess time end...........that why i so fat during f6............during free time....we held some hang out trip....go here o there hang out....but only one o two time.........overall.....it was fun and enjoying..........i never regret i take f6......i know some people said f6 is waste of time and tough....but for me....it was opposite...........it was worth paying 2 year time.............if my f6 without my gang......honestly ...i think it must be dull............they have color my f6 life and paint colourful memories in me............i miss them a lot...............

整理房间

我一直坚持要在每个星期日整理房间。。。。这我都一直做到。。。我在想要是很多东西我都那么坚持那就好。。。。。。其实，我一直都很注重住的环境。。。。我都爱保持清洁。。。。也许我有少许的洁癖症吧。。。在家也是。。。我都爱打扫。。。所以每次回家。。。就很头痛。。。。因为我的房间好久没整理。。。虽然。。。妈妈会表面上的整理我的房。。。。。来迎接我回来。。。这真的让我很感动。。。。又感到对不起她。。。。家对我来说。。。很重要。。。。我从小。。。一直幻想我要有怎样的家。。。。我要有游泳池。。。我要有一个公园。。。好让我在累时。。。。能放松一下。。。。我不要求。。。一间很大间的家。。。。我想要的是一个有家的感觉的家。。。。那种一回家就不想出去。。。。一回家有那种舒服的感觉。。。。我还想亲自设计。。。。家的每一个角落。。。。。其实。。。我很爱室内设计。。。。以前。。。有一段时候。。。有想过要做室内设计师。。。。可是。。。。我自知知明。。。。自已没艺术细胞。。。好希望我未来的家。。。。会是我一直都梦想的家。。。或者我该努力的。。。。去实现我幻想的家吧！

不平衡的心理

我真的好难平衡我的心态。。。。心理只往一方看。。。。。却没看到另一方。。。。好多事情我一直看一方面。。。。好多事情，我以为自已可以，但原来不能。。。以为这东西真的好害人。。。。好多以为。。。。总带来好多的失望。。。。眼里的自已。。。和想要的自已。。。。。。真的好难平衡。。。。有人告诉我，让我知道。。。。。世上好多人比你好，也有好多人比你差。。。。。世上有人赢，就有人输。。。。世上的好人不是永远的好人，他也有坏的时候。。。。。世上有人如意，也有人失意。。。。。世上的人有时开心，也有时伤心。。。世上有人可以做到A的东西但做不到B的东西。。。等等。。。。可是。。。。我还是接受不了。。。。。还没学会平衡。。。。。。时间。。。。我需要时间。。。。来学会。。。。来接受。。。。来平衡。。。。。

付出不等于收获

最近。。。我学到。。。原来书中的那些道理。。。。不是如次的简单。。。从小。。。我就一直相信。。。只要努力。。。就一定会成功。。。。但那短短的道理。。。我到现在才知道。。。它并不如它所说。。。可能我太天真吧。。。到那么久才了解这道理。。。。时间。。。渐渐的告诉我。。。事情慢慢让我知道。。。。原来付出。。。总的不到成果。。。不懂。。。很多事情。。。我给了百分百。。。尽了我最大的努力。。。却换来不想要的成果。。。或者。。。我不该要求付出。。。就有一定的收获。。。。好多事。。。我都在默默地做。。。没有任何人看到。。。没对任何人说。。。。从来不去。。。告诉别人。。。我做了什么。。。或许这样。。。我总让人误会。。。给人假像吧。。。讲真的。。。我现在的心情并不是不想像中。。。会再次低潮。。。反而。。。我抱着感恩的心。。。感谢。。我那么迟才认识这些道理。。。感恩我不太迟知道这些道理。。。。这些都让我成长。。。也让我有更多的心理准备。。。面对未来出去社会上更多道理。。。。