MY STORY

I had mixed feeling right now. Actually I cannot catch what I m thinking in my mind. But one thing for sure is that I got a lot of rubbish emotion and feeling keep accumulates. My heart is imbalance. I know if this condition continues, it will bring another wave of depression. I try my very best to manage my emotions and problems. Before I solve or manage my problems, there raise another wave of problems. I m getting more problems that unsolved. Or in other way those problems is tough to solve. It not as easy like ABC .Especially, I try to change my lifestyle .I want a new me, a more perfect me. Changing yourself really require a lot persistent and courageous, Cause I nearly give up of forget what I plan to change. Maybe there are too much things to changes. There still need more effort and longer time to change. That why every night is a nightmare 4 me. When I close my eyes, I see a lot of problems raise up. That sure lower down my sleep quality. And of cause I struggle for few hours before I finally sleep. The next morning, I wake up with tired body and headache.
Recently, I face many hard decision, Give up my thinking to reality, face a lot rejected, and as well as my relationship with others. It seem like everything’s came in one, People used to said when u bad luck, there more bad event following you. IT Seem like a curse for me. Since form 4, I face a lot of rain and thunder storm. Sure, I face a lot of failure and going thought a lot of down moment. My luck also din get well when I has decide to step into dark and horrible adult stage, it make my ways even darker .No matter how hard I try to find my ways out ,it still like without a dim of light to shine my direction .In darkness, of cause I fall down and hurt frequently . sometime ,I even feel numb about bad things happen to me. Even in emergency moment, I keep stay calm and cool .maybe it just small bad things compare to what I face before. I know there is a block that blocks my happiness .Tell u the truth; I lose my real happiness long ago. Do u know why I said real happiness .It because real happiness is a happiness u face that make u memories forever. The 20 year journey of my life , like walking though a marathon .I dun even remember what I have went thought this 20 years. Or even worse I don’t know who am I? And dun even knows which character I act in this society. I keep telling myself I want to be successful woman in this world .but it seems like a dream more than reality. I also not really sure how much dream I had throw away. Now ,i really wish raining stay away of me and hope to have bright future. I believe there better tomorrow waiting for me.