这时刻的我

现在的我，
对人生有很多感触，
有丰富的感觉，
很多想法一直在脑海里打转。
最近，
我感觉到自已变得很情绪化，
对发生的事情，
都很有感触，
都会有深刻的感觉，
每一件事里，
我都会去找它的意义，
我会去理解为什么它的发生，
努力的体会人生道理，
和人生老师学习，
又发觉，
每件事的发生，
必有一定的原因，
了解它，
我才发觉，
今天这样的我，
也是有它的含义在，
我的好坏都有它的道理，
因为我知道，
未来的我，会告诉我，
为什么会有，这样的我存在，
时间，
会告诉我，
现在的我，为什么是这样的！

today's lesson

since last year,
i learned a precious lesson from life,
on every darkness,
or
when i face problem,
there always someone appear in my life,
help me out,
give me social support.
he/she came in the right time,
it like some kind of arrangement.
i learned that darkness are not always bad,
it because i see dim light when it dark,
it tell me who is my angel and devil.
hence,
i have a belief that,
when the Buddha close one of my door,
he will open another window for me.
today,
it was another proof for it,
when i face tough problems,
a no choice situations,
Buddha got someone with me for the first time,
he bring me another angel for the second time,
who solve my problem for long time.
deep in me,
i really feel grateful,
what i have is far greater than what i dun have,
it been in my thought,
for a while
that someone can drive me back.
today,
it come true,
i start to think how amazing is it,
what i thought it true sometime,
since,
someone can be my angel,
i wish to be other angel,
as a kind of pay it forward,
when i receive,
i shall giving.

感触

刚才，妈妈告诉我。。。表妹坐的飞机。。。在登陆时。。。走出轨道。。。飞机突然冒烟。。。有些人受伤。。。很庆幸。。。我的表妹没事。。。也没受伤。。。这件事。。。突然让我有很深的感触。。。感觉生命很脆弱。。。生命可以很长也可以很短。。。生命可以在任何时候停止。。。不管你有多年轻有多老。。。它可以因为车祸。。。跌倒。。。意外。。。生病。。。等。。。任何事情使它结束。。。我不能以为自已还年轻不会死。。。这一却。。。可能是我一直把活着当作是理所当然。。。我在想。。。要是我突然死了。。。死之前。。。我最想做什么。。。我最想的是谁？？。。。我不知道。。。但我知道。。。我不想带着遗憾离开。。。在最后的时刻。。。才发现我没有真真活过。。。没有认真地过每一天。。。发现好多事情还做。。。要是我明天死了。。。我最遗憾的事。。。我不曾亲口对我父母说：我爱你。。。那三个字。。。每次都停在嘴边。。。因为没勇气。。。因为不曾说。。。所以说不出口。。。还有我会遗憾的事。。。是没做我一直想做的事。。。那就是紧紧地拥抱他们。。。好几次。。。我想做。。但做不到。。。每当想要时。。。发觉双手好重。。。重到提不起来。。。但我。。我不想。。。一直想做的事。。。只到死时。。。才有勇气。。。或有可能因为没勇气。。。而遗憾。。。我想。。。我会努力。。。克服。。。做到。。。这一却。。。让我没有让这遗憾的存在。。。做到活在当下的每一天。。。竟是明天要死。。。我也没有遗憾的结束我这人生。。。。

听不到，说不到的经历

没多久，我完全失声，说不出任何一句话，那时我不敢接触任何人，不敢接电话。。。因为完全没声音。。。怕和别人说话。。。突然感到没自信。。。没有安全感。。。那时，我才真真感觉到哑巴的人的感受。。。不能说话。。。不能表达，传达信息。。。感到。。真的很捆牢。。。很无助。。。还好。。。只是几天而已。。。但我深刻的感受到声音的重要。。。

今天我的右边耳朵突然失灵。。。好像有东西塞住。。。蒙蒙的听不清楚。。。这时我只能靠我的左耳听。。。一整天很不舒服。。。感觉好像少了东西一样。。。做什么事都不顺。。。整天就如我的右耳一样的模糊。。。上课。。。又不能专心。。。因为阻塞。。。或被盖住。。。所以一直都听到自已说话的回音。。。总之不好受就对了。。。

一直以为这些都是我理所当然的拥有。。。但在失去时。。。才发觉。。。自已从来不珍惜过。。。没感恩过。。。我有一个健全的身体。。。健康的活着。。。虽然我很常生病。。。但我拥有的东西好多好多。。。顿时。。。我感到幸福。。。感恩我所拥有的一却。。。也不在去埋怨没有的一却。。。最后希望我的右耳早点好。。。让我恢复我的听觉。。。

1.1.11

今天1.1.11,
新的一年，对过去的一年说再见，
我以最平凡的方式跨年。。
没有跑到老远的去，看烟花， 和一群人高喊庆祝。。。
或许，
去年体验过那种感觉，今年就平静的度过。。
2011 年的第一天，
我什么感觉都没有。。。。
一却是一片空白。。。
或许，
新的一年。。。
只是在日期上的改变，
对我却没有很大的意义。。。
只是新的一个开始，
另一个句号。。。
不懂。。。
这只是另个奔波的一年，
今天，
我和平时一样。。。
没有任何不同。。。
我只希望今年我会比去年更好，走的更远，更进步。。。
今年会是特别的一年，
毕竟今年我会从大学跨进社会，
很快我就要离开大学，朋友们，
开始觉得时间过得很快。。。
不知不觉。。。
我快要毕业。。。
刚进来时，还觉得毕业很遥远，
可是，现在只剩下短短的几个月，
我开始，
捨不得这里的一却，
不要觉得还有很长的时间，
这么快就不捨，
其实不是，
时间总在你不留是流失，
所以，
我会珍惜今年，
珍惜和我身旁的朋友，
体验我还没体验的大学生活，
做我想做但还没做的东西，
把我最后的学期过得充实又精彩。。。
在不久，
我就要踏进社会了，
我是充满期待与等待。。。
最后，
新年快乐！

2010 - the JOURNEY i had WALKED

2010 going to pass soon....and raise the year 2011....

2010 is combination of 2nd yr 2nd sem + 3rd yr 1st sem....it was busy and rushing non stop journey.....but i believe i had a fulfilled 2010.....

there was too many happenings and things in year 2010....honestly....i forget mostly.....but one things.....photos....with those photos....my memory back....it like a piece of puzzle....that make a big picture of my journey......and i doesnt know where to start wrote about my journey...so i random jump to any point of my journey that i remember....

this year was tough year for me....in academic....it full of assignments.....with bunch of assignment keep us busy.....sure i face a lot pressure and stress.....sometime...it frustrated in stress life....the most harder is balance the study life, activities life and social life....there was up and down moment in every point of year.....however i m glad that there always angel came into my life during my dark moment and help me......my family and friends always my great social support for me though out the journey.....deep in me....i m gratitude....for every single falls.....i know who is angel beside me..... during photography session


my io assignment group

Visiting jobs malaysia

the most memorable assignment is the experiment one and the io assignment....io assignment was the most challenging one...with a lot practical.....the whole process i dunno what the outcome that lecture one....and on the process...we are blur.....we explore,understand, edit,ask.....it was the tougher assignments but the most interesting one..... one of the io assignment ~poster

in the midst of studying.....i still join some activities and program.....like Shengxue & Xiao xian, Aiesec ADND & EYLN, Astrolife camp and others.....it was a relieve for me when i pass shengxue to next batch.....the whole process it tough until i thought i will give up....but i m glad....i grind my teeth and it pass....i learned that things never become hard once u have gone though it....

shengxue cny dinner



Aiesec ADND

Aiesec eyln industrial tour

the Aiesec Korea programme....which we have chance interact with korean and tour around with them.....it was wonderful to know them....i have chance to try famous kajang satay...haha....u must drop ur jaw...when know i not yet taste it after been here for 2 year plus.....then it was my first time went to malacca....first time went to klcc skybridge....it look like i same with them....a tourist also....haha.....
1 korean with 5 malaysian

then the most memorable is astrolife camp....it was a new try for me.....to become assistant teacher was never in my thought before.....but just to earn some money and do something in my holiday....i went experience it.....i still think i cant be a teacher.....the camp let me learn a lot....it a truly differ experience.....
astrolife camp

when into 3rd year....i want try differ experience....i want more explore to the society even thought very soon i will.....i find part time job....and hence i worked part time for every weekend for a month.....working really take my precious time for assignment....so i have to rush finish assignment for weekday...


at first i work just want to earn money to buy the camera that i fall in first sight.....but at the end....my parents brought it as birthday present...but i still insist to pay for it.....i still assurance it.....but i m happy with my dear camera....even it not yet perfect without zoom lens....but i love it ....it tell story of my life....this is the most wonderful things i own....another reason i brought the camera is i can attend workshop to learn photograph.....i admit i m bad photographer but i still explore it and learn it....with the great tool....i wish i can take nice photo .....
photograph workshop

in this year....i had the chance to went taiwan for a week +....it was a extraordinary fun trip....who said travel with older relative cant be fun......i think it was another experience.....cause being the younger have many advantage.....haha....sure pay less...however i still spent a lot at that trip....all my taiwan relative was kind, generous....and they treat us very nice....it make me feel we are like vip....deeply i thank them for the trip...they bring us to many great place....tour around taiwan.....taste taiwan foods......cook for us...without them.....the taiwan trip will mean nothing......
wulai~one of the place i went

cooking from my taiwan's relatives....


after taiwan.....i went to singapore.....few day.....it was short and tired one....since i back from taiwan.....i manage to went few place....like orchard , bugis.....only.....what i saw is singapore life was so hectic and stressful....even few day...i can feel the intense....this few day....i more closer to my aunty which stay at there and meet only few time.....we talk a lot....she good to me....and i like her cooking....it taste like restaurant chef foods.....


most of my time was busy in my social life.....hang out with my friends.....psykidstrip.....drinking...eating....singing.....shopping.....watching movie.....with psykids....we have numerous outing.....sushi bonanza trip....movie ....etc....with this outing.....it make us more closer and know better among each other.....we also have tanjong rambutan hospital trip.....we have visiting the mental hospital....know how the life ppl there.....it was an open eye trip....
psykid's family trip


with my beloved family at fac nite

one of sushi bonanza trip with psykid uniform



i frequently hang out with bio gangs... one of our outing is went seremban....we shop....eat the most famous seremban sau pao....haha....all this social life make my university life interesting and colourful....thank to my dear friends and psykids.....u all color up my dull life....haha
travel far for a cup of coffee at coffee ritual


seremban famous sau pao


celebrating pumpkin birthday


with bio gang


we know for 7 year....



cool look

i city with shengxue gang


we eat all the dessert....u believe?

i wish to donate blood....but i fail pass the screening few time ...cause not satify the requirement.....one day....i manage to pass though all the scanning and i donate blood....i done what i want to do long ago....the donate blood process....i felt dizzy...at the end....my face turn pale....it take me few minutes to rest.....at the end....i make it...so happy i cant do what i want to...even my mom dun allow....but later she know....i got scolded....but i just wish i can help anyone who need it....but i think i better take care myself....since recently i keep fall sick....at present moment....i lose my voice....and few month ago....i had many sickness....i wonder is i get older....or my immune system not strong.....ya...after i back from taiwan....my asthma attack back...it take me few month to cure it......look like i need to watch up my health level....

on my may holiday....i filled it with travel....while the nov one....i started busy with my thesis.....ya...my thesis....i can describe it as big construction for me.....some time i worry for it progress....actually when i think it as whole it was harder....but when i break it down....it become more easy.....the whole process from thinking title- fill form- supervisor selected-proposal.....all was still ok for me....the one tougher is collect data....which i doing now....it was tiring....heavy task.....which i need approach them one by one.....once i think i need 200 subject....i can imaging i need approach 200 ppl...this thought can make me faint.....so far....i still got half to go.....ganbatte la....
we woke up early for world walking day

we had walked 2000 steps....yeah

when i wrote 2010...all the images....all the happenings.....all the journey....all the happy,sad, disappointment, touching,gratitude moment....all flash and play at my mind....i am glad i walked though the journey i had walked.....the journey when i though it was tough .....but it never be tough once i go through it......

Overall....my 2010 full of mixture of feelings.....it was slow progress of development and growth.....i believe 2011....will be more challenging once as i was a year where i leave school life and enter social life.....wish all the best for year 2011....

my secondary friend gathering at my room



christmas party with psykids + 2 yr junior



hang out at Pesta Tanglung



fun ok restaurant with psykids

闯进astro - 古晋之阅乐岛

3-5 日12 月

这三天。。。可说是一个我人生中的一个突破。。。为什么我这么说呢？。。。因为。。。。我竟然。。。想不开。。。为了钱。。。而当助教。。。我说过。。。我可以做任何工作但我不会当老师。。。虽然这次我并不是真真的当老师。。。但助教也算是一半的老师吧！！！其实。。刚开始时。。。我并不知道营的细节。。。只知道。。假期里。。。有什么节目就参加。。。为了过个更充实的假期。。。什么节目都可以。。。


营的前几天。。。我们有几次的培训。。。学些和小朋友沟通技巧。。。唱跳小太阳主题曲。。。学跳这首歌。。。真的好累。。。每个动作都很有活力。。。要奔奔跳跳的。。。可能是年纪老了。。。跳到上气接不到下气。。。。好累。。。好喘。。。隔天起来。。。全身都痛。。。对了。。在营里。。。我们都不用真名。。。小孩子们。。。很难去记得名字。。。所以每个人都有个可爱又容易记的东西，动物或饰物。。。我却是。。。itik姐姐。。。哈哈。。。我也做了可爱的鸭名卡。。。

整个星期。。。我都在忙培训。。。准备。。。终于。。。到了营的第一天。。。也是恶梦的一天。。。。因为这是我的第一次。。。第一次和小朋友一起。。。从小到大。。。我都很少和小朋友一起。。。也不喜欢。。。接近他们。。。感觉上。。。他们都好恐怖。。。虽然他们都很可爱。。。但当他们顽皮时。。。就会变恶魔。。。好恐怖。。。。这可能是我没有弟妹的原因， 所以不知道要如何和他们相处吧。。。。


第一天。。。我们穿上水手装。。。迎接小朋友。。。我的组-湖泊组。。。中年班的小朋友。。。都是9-10岁。。。我一个人带28位小朋友。。。由于是我的第一天，也是我的第一次。。。还不会控制场面。。。每次叫他们排队。。。他们就会排两排蛇队。。。我花了一段时间才把队排成型。。。但我已喊到快没声了。。。那天。。。也有好多突起没通知的事。。。 要有组的口号，要喊组口号。。。要教我从来没学过的唐诗。。。做为最后一天的结业表演。。。要改习题。。。整天。。。就是以个字。。。。《忙》。。。忙着带他们。。。忙着带他们上厕所。。。忙着纪律他们。。。忙着喊。。。忙碌的一天终于过了。。。回到家时。。。我累得躺在床上。。。累得醒不来。。。是我好久以来最早睡得一天。。。。

第二天。。。情形变较好了。。。可是那几个顽皮的小孩。。。变得更顽皮。。。这年龄的小孩。。。都爱赢。。。都爱争风头。。。爱枪第一。。。当有任何环节或要选代表时。。。一大群的小孩就会冲向我。。。要被选。。。

这个营是以三语来学习。。。第一天是马来语。。。第二天是华语。。。。第三天是英语。。。我发觉。。。现在的小孩学的东西蛮多得。。。有些是我从来没有学过的。。。可能是太久没接触一些小时候的知识。。。。发觉好多都还给老师了。。。其实。。。我和他们一样。。。也跟着学习。。。

第三天。。。。一却变得更好。。。只是。。。还是忙。。。忙着准备表演。。。可是。。。因为时间太急迫。。。排练过程并不是很顺利。。。一遍混乱。。。但还是没办法。。。练习时间真的太短了。。。不到四个小时。。。人数又太多。。。有百多位小朋友。。。我们都已经尽力了。。。

终于。。。结束了。。。虽然很累。。。但感到很庆幸！！！我终于熬过了。。。在营还没开始时。。。我一直担心。。。我会做得不好。。。还好我做的不错。。。一个人带30位小朋友的却。。。不容易。。。虽然。。。我有很多不足的地方。。。但我已突破。。。我一直觉的不能的事。。。《教书》。。。这是我第一次的尝试也是最后一次。。。我还是觉得我不适合教学。。。这次让我更确定。。。整个营里。。。我真的收获不少。。。认识和我一起做战的助教。。。虽然我们没有很多时间交流。。。但这几天我们相处的很好。。。很高兴认识他们。。。很高兴有个全新的经历。。。全新的体验。。。。让我的假期过的更充实。。。